The strange comments my family hears on a regular basis. This is how I want to reply today.
Let me hear your responses to these comments!
- People just adopt kids of other races because the parents feel they need to stand out and parade themselves.
Yes. That’s why people do it (Not). Maybe they just wanted a family – duh.
- You’re the next Angela Jolie.
Yes because my all of x number of children look like a gaggle and I look just like her (lol).
- Are they biologically brothers and sisters?
What(!)? You are really going there? How none of your business is this.
- Are you the nanny?
I don’t get paid enough to be their nanny.
- Where are their parents?
Right here. Why do you ask?
- You did a wonderful thing, there is a place in heaven for you.
No, it was pretty selfish. We wanted a family and here they are, my beautiful babies.
- It must be hard for you to bond with them.
Was it hard for you to bond with your children, is that why you are asking me?
Side note: (For new parents, it may take some time for bonding but that doesn’t equate with love. I loved them the minute they were placed in my arms.) (Also, some women who give birth have difficulty bonding.)
- It is so sad that you do not have biological children.
No it isn’t. We love our children more than anything.
- Adopt an Irish baby.
Really now? Why?
- They must look like their father.
- They look just like you, is this your second marriage?
Why are you asking me if this is my second marriage? Are you on your second marriage?
- They don’t look like their father.
You are right. Aren’t they beautiful!
- Your children are the spitting image of you.
Hmm…is it the hair that gives it away. (Mine is light; their hair is much darker.)
- Why do you and your kids look so different?
Why do you and your kids look so different.
- They look like their grandpa.
Really, how can you tell?
- Adoption comes from a sad place. You don’t have biological children and the children aren’t being raised by their biological parents.
You married didn’t you? Are you biologically related to your husband? No right, but you still love him (I hope). So what does biological really mean to you? What are you trying to imply? We are happy.
*At times, it is hard to know how to respond to these invasive questions and comments. Some people are just naturally curious, others are nosy or ignorant and still others may be in the process of adopting themselves. We have to gauge our responses based on who the person is and how we feel the response should be. When the topic of conversation is so personal, it is never wrong to say what you are feeling. Many times I just say, I am not comfortable responding to that question. If it is a comment I sometimes pretend I didn’t hear it.
I would like to know some comments that other adoptive parents have heard. So email me, post here and let me know!
Have a wonderful day.